The Antivaxxiest Place on Earth

ANAHEIM, CA -- Through no fault of its own, Disneyland has come in recent weeks to be associated with measles outbreaks stemming from the anti-vaccination movement.  The theme park has announced its intention to embrace its new branding and roll out an assortment of new attractions, including the following.Mr. Toad's Dry CoughDocIt's a Small Rash After AllBuzz Lightyear Outbreak ClustersDiarrhea Splash MountainSeven Dwarfs Mumps TrainContagious MansionGoofy's General MalaisePirates of the IncubationSnow White's Scary ThimerosalPeter Pan's Flight from RealityThe Many Swellings of Winnie the PoohJenny McCarthy's Carousel of RegressAnd of course don't skip the new favorite: Dumbo’s Herd Immunity!  Will the Dumbo car you're sitting in be one that's tightly bolted to the armature, or one that could break loose and go tumbling into a crowd of onlookers? Hold tight, have fun, and enjoy the breathless thrill of free choice!