The time: the year 2000. The place: a guy’s office. He places a phone call. Someone answers:MITT: Good morning, Bain Capital.GUY: Hi there. I was calling to speak with the CEO?MITT: This is the CEO.GUY: Terrific. So look: I’m just calling because I’m working on a project and I was hoping to get some numbers...MITT: Let me stop you right there ‘cause I’d hate to waste your time. For answers like that I’m afraid you’d need to talk to the CEO.GUY: I--. Oh. Sorry, I--. But aren’t you the CEO?MITT: Me? Oh ho ho ho. Goodness, no. No, no. Wouldn’t that be something, though.GUY: O--kay, but... didn’t you just say that you were the...?MITT: Did I? No. I don’t think so. No, I didn’t say that. Almost certainly not.GUY: Okay, then, could I please speak with the CEO?MITT: Speaking!GUY: So... you are the CEO?MITT: Yessir. Last time I checked, yep.GUY: ...Okay, then, I was wondering if I...MITT: Oops, hang on, just checked again -- nope. Uh-uh. Definitely not the CEO. Sorry about that.GUY: You’re not the CEO.MITT: Not even a little bit.GUY: Tell you what -- could I talk to the president of Bain instead?MITT: Absolutely. Terrific guy, you’ll love him. Let me transfer you.GUY: Thank you.Beeps, clicks, ringing. Then:MITT: Hello, Bain Capital!GUY: ...Aren’t you... the guy I... was just talking to?MITT: Am I? Hard to say!GUY: And you’re -- president of Bain Capital?MITT: President? Oh gosh no. I’m just the lowly CEO.GUY: So you are the CEO.MITT: Absolutely.GUY: You’re sure?MITT: Positive.GUY: -- Seriously, you’re sure?MITT: My friend, I think I know who I am, gosh.GUY: Okay, so as the CEO...MITT: President.GUY: Sorry?MITT: President.GUY: Not CEO.MITT: Don’t think so.GUY: Can’t you be both?MITT: You tell me. Can light be both a particle and a wave?GUY: -- Can’t it?MITT: I’m asking you. Gee, I’m no scientist. I’m just a simple CEO.GUY: You are the CEO!MITT: Or president, whatever.GUY: Different approach, here. Could I just talk to a managing member of Bain Capital Investors?MITT: Speaking!GUY: -- Or someone else entirely, maybe?MITT: You bet, friend. Let me just transfer you.Beeps, clicks.MITT: Hello, Bain Capital!GUY: Look, I just wanted to talk to the CEO...MITT: I’m afraid if you want to talk to him I’m going to have to transfer you back to myself.GUY: So you are the CEO!!MITT: I was. I just retroactively resigned.GUY: Retroactive to when?MITT: To the beginning of this phone conversation. Paperwork just went through.GUY: So this conversation never even happened?MITT: Oh, it happened. Silly. But you had it with someone else entirely.GUY: Who’d I have it with?MITT: Beats me, fella! I wasn’t here!GUY: So you’re the CEO of Bain Capital.MITT: Yes. Absolutely not.GUY: And instead you’re the president.MITT: Yes. I was. Until you asked that question. Now not so much.GUY: And -- who am I?MITT: I don’t know.BOTH: Third base!Fin.