O For a Muse of Pretzel Nuggets!

“Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports,” said our president yesterday of American military might during the American Revolution (or the War of 1812, it’s not quite clear). But in praising eighteenth-century American air power he does a disservice to the long history of military aircraft. Remember how the ...

“Moby Dick” Scribbler Herman Melville Spotted Working as a Deputy Customs Inspector in New York

Posted on Sep 4, 2018 in Literature, Ostensibly Funny, Shoe Substitutes, Writing

Novelist Herman Melville, who wrote “Moby Dick” and “Omoo,” was spotted by a merchant working as a district inspector in the Custom House Service, standing behind a desk and wearing a rumpled uniform with a name tag that read, “Herman.” The merchant who spotted the fabulist told the Fox Evening Dispatch that he was visiting the ...

Woody’s Nightmare

While condemning Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen said, “You also don’t want it to lead to a witch hunt atmosphere, a Salem atmosphere, where every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself.”  Hackers have obtained and leaked one of Woody Allen’s actual nightmares to ...

Make Rhymed Couplets Great Again

Posted on Jan 20, 2017 in Literature, Ostensibly Funny, Politics, Shoe Substitutes

Someone wrote a poem celebrating today’s inauguration. Literary research and Wikileaks have uncovered, however, that — as with any great work of art — this opus wasn’t the first draft. Below are some early lines that didn’t make it into the final version:       The mane ‘top his heed all flaxen and bushy, He ...

Bartleby the Religioner

Posted on Oct 14, 2015 in Literature, Ostensibly Funny, Politics, Shoe Substitutes

The nature of my avocations has brought me into more than ordinary contact with a singular set of people – I speak of county clerks. One such registrar was a certain Bartleby. It is, of course, an indispensable part of a clerk’s business to issue licenses to citizens who, for whatever reason, wish to marry. ...

Surrender TiVo

NBC, CBS, and SyFy have all announced new Wizard of Oz-themed TV projects, including a medical drama and an apocalyptic adventure. It won’t stop there.  Behold, a preview of the new series to be announced at the TV upfronts in 2015. There’s No Place Like Homeland Agent Dorothy Gale conceals her delusions about witches and ...